Friday, June 23, 2017

Haiku #6 {Poetry Friday}


bee - zip dart up down
gentle landings carefully
gathering nectar


This week I used a photo from last week that I took purposefully for a haiku.  As I gathered my list of words and started a draft I had trouble thinking of the last word in the second line.  This syllable work makes me focus on words with more intention.  Carefully wasn't on my original list so I skipped a line to show it was added after my initial ramblings.  Then I wasn't sure what word I wanted to end this haiku with and did a Google search, adding nectar after carefully on my list.  I like thinking about the process here and hope it benefits my students next year.

Thank you Heidi at my juicy little universe for hosting Poetry Friday this week. 

7 comments:

  1. Hi, Mandy. Zip and dart have such great energy in line one -- then the gentle, careful landing and gathering in lines two and three. It's a little portrait in haiku form.

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  2. I like how short and bee-like your words are in that first line.

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  3. Slowing down is the action you've shown so well, Mandy. I wish I'd seen this sooner. I had the granddaughters this afternoon into evening & we actually talked about how bees work and what they do, looked at pollen-laden bee legs. They would have loved your haiku, as I do!

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  4. Good reminder to mix in some gentleness with all of our zip and zoom!

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  5. I love the contrast from the energy and movement in the first line to the gentleness of the last. Nicely done!

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  6. I find that structured poetic forms really help me as a writer - my mind can easily bounce all over the place, but structure and form help me focus!

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  7. I like the rhythm in your haiku Mandy, stacatto at first, and then slowing down as they gather nectar!

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