She wants to be alone, yet I'm worried why she is behind her bedroom door. It wasn't a quiet entrance to her bedroom. The door is locked and there are sniffles. I try to touch base. It wasn't well received. I wait and fold laundry. I try to touch base again using a soft gentle knock and voice. It wasn't well received. I find more laundry to keep folding. Then I think of a new idea. I grab a piece of paper and a pencil. I sit in the hallway outside her door and jot a a phrase or two, purposefully writing a question. I slide it under her door and wait. I can tell she picks it up to read. I wait. The paper slides back with a one word answer. We continue to communicate in this manner for a bit of time until the door opens and hugs are received.
Sometimes space is needed. Sometimes verbal words are too hard. Sometimes writing is easier. It brings peace, safety and a refocus needed to continue with the day.
Thank you to Two Writing Teachers for fostering the Slice of Life writing community.
Mandy- Parenting is the hardest work I have EVER done! You capture it beautifully here.
ReplyDeleteCarol, Yes it is and it changes as they get older.
DeleteI love how you slipped the paper under her door and gave her time and just one word. xo
ReplyDeleteA parenting strategy to tuck away as we enter the in-between years. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteGreat way to connect! I find that my best conversations with my daughter are via texting.
ReplyDeleteThis works with my oldest daughter, or I found if we talked on the phone when she was home and I got out of school and drove home she would talk then.
DeleteMandy- little children, little problems, big children, big problems. It is never easy. What a great way to listen and communicate too. Thanks for sharing this slice. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteAwww...this brings tears to my eyes! You handled that beautifully - what a wonderful way to resolve feelings. Writing things down gives people time to think, to explore how they REALLY feel, and to express what they REALLY want to say. Bravo! So glad that conflict ended in a hug. :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks...it wasn't easy so I had to think of something different because waiting and worrying is hard.
DeleteHmmm, that's a sure sign of a great parent! What a gift you gave her to give her the space she needed while also showing her that you are there for her in whatever way she needed. Brilliant! (Now, I just hope I remember that one when I need it, because I'm sure I'll need it some day, before I know it!)
ReplyDeleteYou were so smart to try the written messages under the door, Mandy. You're a great mom! Brilliant slice.
ReplyDeleteThanks Stacey! Sometimes you have to try new things and hope.
DeleteYou found a way to communicate - bravo, Mom!
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet and thoughtful mother you are, Mandy. Sometimes quiet words are the only thing that works. I'm glad that she was open to reading your message.
ReplyDeleteI like your thought of quiet words - what a thoughtful way to think about writing.
DeleteThis post reminds me of the days I use to keep a conversation journal with my girls. It seems as time went on the passes faded…maybe it's time to bring the journal back.
ReplyDelete